I can’t even count how many times I have been asked this. The answer is always the same, “oh its amazing and wonderful” and we leave it at that. It’s not like I am going to say man it is hard as hell, I swear this child could be a little tiny she-devil at times. But you just keep it simple and short and tell only the good side of it. Don’t get me wrong, being a mother IS amazing and is wonderful but times are seriously hard too. At some points you wish you could lock yourself away during the whining and fits.
I know some have it worse than I do, since my child is almost an angel (with a touch of she-devil) For an example: she slept almost through the entire night (a full 9ish hours) since we brought her home (which was 3 hours after she was born). She ate so good, breast feeding went super smooth and she weaned herself onto regular baby food. Once she figured out a spoon we no longer were allowed to feed her, she is super independent. Avery ( my daughter) isn’t picky, she will eat almost anything, and now she even started to wean off of her soother for nights with almost no severe fits. some parents are probably crying or hate me because I have had it so easy with my child.
The thing that gets me the most is that when I tell people how old I am they are so shocked at how well behaved my child is, because my fiancee and I have our lives so together, and get this… my house is so clean. Like what does my house cleanliness have to do with my age? I understand its a compliment as most women in their early 20’s are out partying, living with friends or at home yada yada.. but the comment still shocks me.
If you have read a previous post of mine called Dealing With The Unforgettable than you know that I grew up super fast. My childhood pretty much taken away from me, I felt I had responsibilities at a young age. also partied really young so it didn’t interest me by the time I hit 19. I have more life experience than most, it can be a good thing to help prepare for the future but it also takes so much away from your childhood. I mean to be honest I don’t like being reminded how I young I really am. Yes I understand I am not a normal early 20’s woman. If you’re curious as to my age, I am newly 22 years old.
But ANYWAY.. having my daughter was the best most amazing thing that happened to me. Becoming a mother changed my life even more, and my mindset too. It gave me the push I needed to push myself into creating the best life I can create for myself and for my family.
For those of you who are curious this is an image of my daughter Avery (18 months) and my fiancee Derrick. Aren’t they soo cute?
All the images with a child in them used on my blog are of my baby. She is just so perfect, why wouldn’t I?
So back to the question of how it feels to be a mom. Most of us moms are going to answer that its amazing and great and everything sweet. We don’t usually mention the “Oh yeah sometimes I just want to rip my hair out sometimes or put the child back for a nap 10 minutes after they have woken up.”
Its OK to feel like that, Everyone has their share of these times!
I’m a natural mother, I literally mother EVERYONE! I was the mother hen to people close to me no matter their age. even adults way older than me. I adjust when it is needed and I know how to deal with pretty much everything naturally. That is just who I am. I help people.
That is what motherhood is, it is helping your child grow and learn how to be the best they can be as well as being caring, loving, stern, and in all just a beautiful human being.
There are many feelings involved in being a mother. So much more to it than most can see. When I had Avery home after being born ( 3 hours later) I had help for a few days, from my mother and brother, life savers! But once they were gone it was just us 3. My fiancee this tiny human and myself.
It was damn hard and scary too. Again, it was just us… new parents that had no idea what life was going to throw at us. But we did it, we figured it out. Yes I sure did cry a few times in the middle of the night while trying to breast feed this tiny human who is squirmy and trying to get the hold right and the latch, plus your boob is ginormous and engorged. yeah it was so stressful and when Derrick asked me what’s wrong I just said “it’s so hard” I feel horrible that this teeny tiny human was hungry and I couldn’t do anything but wait until she got the latch right.
You get the hang of it, this tiny human gets easier to handle as they get older. Avery is so independent now, she eats herself, is potty training pretty much herself, sleep training herself, playing by herself and she even knows how to use the door and mail keys. I am so happy with how everything is going. I could be more proud of my tiny human.
Watching her grow is the best thing ever. learning words, playing with kitties, getting her personality. But this does come with stresses as well.. interest in heavy objects, wanting to run across the street for flowers, walking up to strangers, and well standing at another post box for 20 minutes while she tries to unlock the screw holes with my keys ..
Its all in teaching her what she needs to be aware of, and what could be dangerous. one we made sure she new was hot, now she knows when to stay away from hot stuff, she shows that she knows by saying that its hot. As for the standing at the post box, i dont mind it. It can get annoying yeah, but I just think to myself she is learning and using her imagination. I love seeing how she perceives things and seeing her imagination go wild. She can’t talk, but I can see it in her eyes and expressions.
When I look at my baby, I still have that shocked over whelming love feeling that this my child. She is so amazing, smart and beautiful. Already so gentle and kind.
A mothers feelings for her children don’t have words, there are no amount of words that can describe it! This type of love is so unconditional in every way there is, it’s priceless. Just pure energy of a connection no one will ever know unless they are a mother. There is nothing like it. I though I knew what love felt like, loving my fiancee, my mom, but its not comparable.
I understand that some of you may be thinking that a Fathers love is the same. Fathers have lots of love and a connection too. I am not sure as to what extent. As you are all aware I am not a father 😛
In my own personal opinion and personal experience a father doesn’t have the same connection. ( my father was out of my life at the age of 5, never seen again) I don’t feel that fathers have the same depth of a connection. But yes on the contrary.. mothers have left their children too. This can be a discussion for another time.
AS a mother, and father, nobody knows your child more than you do! Don’t let people try to push you to make a decision you know won’t work for your child. be stern about it.
Don’t let those tiny humans grow up too fast, cherish their childhood, heighten their imagination, let them get dirty! Getting messy means fun and keepsakes! Give them a memorable childhood that they can smile about.
No matter what your life is like with children, the answer to “How is it being a mom?” will still always be similar, always the good stuff.